A good marriage has three levels. Which level are you on？
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Author | Fan Deng Reading Ji Yinchuan
Source: Fan Deng Reading (ID: ID：readingclub_btfx)
There is a line in the movie Gone Girl:
"Two people love each other, but they can’t run a marriage. This is the real tragedy."
A truly happy marriage cannot be separated from the careful management of two people.
Marriage is like a couple starting a company. Only when two people work in the same direction can this company last for a long time.
And a good marriage has three levels. Which level are you on?
The first level:
A happy marriage can change you from an adult to a child.
The Korean love documentary film "Dear, don’t cross that river" has a douban score of 9.2, and the story in the film has touched countless netizens.
The hero of the film is an old couple who have been together for 76 years.
Although they have been married for so long, they will still wear lovers’ clothes together and hold hands wherever they go.
In autumn, grandma swept the accumulated fallen leaves, and grandpa made trouble on the side, so that grandma stamped her feet.
In winter, two people will laugh and make a snowman and have a snowball fight together.
Such feelings are so enviable, one is making a noise, the other is laughing, you know my joys and sorrows, and I know that you are warm and cold.
You worship me like a hero, and I love you like a child.
(The picture comes from the documentary "Dear, don’t cross that river", which was deleted)
Once my grandmother had a foot injury, my grandfather felt distressed for her, and his eyes were full of distress.
When grandma is unhappy, grandpa will come to a dance to make grandma laugh, and he is particularly satisfied when he looks at grandma squinting and laughing.
I have seen a lot of love. The longer they get married, the more they will ignore the sense of ritual in life, but grandparents don’t. After decades of marriage, they are still like first love.
Before going to bed, grandpa will gently touch grandma’s face and then go to sleep sweetly.
This couple, who have already passed their eighties, let people see the best of love.
There is a saying that "good love can make people a fool, and the best love can make people a child."
This is the marriage between grandpa and grandma. Although I have lived together for most of my life, my grandmother is still spoiled as a little princess.
Even at the age of 89, she still looks like a shy girl in front of her grandfather, and her eyes are always affectionate.
At the bottom of this movie, there is a hot comment: "Even if the hair is white as snow, the sunset is beautiful, and you are still young."
Marry the man who can make you a child again. Only he can make you put down your adult status and be a reckless child.
(The picture comes from the documentary "Dear, don’t cross that river", which was deleted)
The second level:
A happy marriage can share joys and sorrows.
In fact, I have always admired the relationship between Viya and her husband Dong Haifeng.
As the queen of e-commerce live broadcast, Viya’s success today is inseparable from her husband.
But after Viya became popular, someone always lamented that Dong Haifeng was not good enough for her. However, Viya doesn’t know anything about theory, and continues to talk about her husband. She looks like a girl fan.
The match in marriage never lies only in external temporary achievements, but in two people sharing weal and woe from beginning to end.
In 2008, the two pooled their money to open a clothing store.
Dong Haifeng is responsible for the overall operation planning, and Viya is responsible for the wear and wear management. With the joint efforts of the two people, the business has finally improved a little.
Just when the physical business was booming, Viya proposed to close the store and join the online shop.
If you put others aside, you may not be able to put down your existing achievements, but Dong Haifeng didn’t, but actively stood by her side and gave her the greatest support.
At first, because they didn’t understand online operation, they pressed too much goods and soon lost all their money.
Viya remorse tears, hair is a drop.
It was Dong Haifeng who constantly comforted her: "Don’t worry, I believe we will have bread!"
If it weren’t for Dong Haifeng, Viya wouldn’t have reached its present position.
(Image from the Internet, deleted)
As Viya said: "The most important thing for my development is my husband’s support all the way, which gives me enough sense of security and confidence."
In fact, every step of Viya’s career, Dong Haifeng will follow her closely and be her most solid backing.
The marriage between Viya and Dong Haifeng is a typical case of sharing weal and woe. Even if they are criticized, they will never leave.
Dong Haifeng is willing to shelter Viya from the rain, and he will step on the pit for her first in case of career difficulties.
Viya is also willing to hold an umbrella for Dong Haifeng, tangled with everyone’s prejudice, and thanked her husband for his unknown efforts over and over again.
"Companionship is the longest confession." This sentence seems ordinary, but it is the most firm commitment and the most touching expression in love.
A good marriage means that no matter whether you are poor or rich, whether you are in good times or bad, you will always stay with each other and choose to help him in the same boat.
It is unfortunate to have a marriage that can only share joys and sorrows. The most precious thing in marriage is that the person you choose can share joys and sorrows with you.
Life is like sailing again and again, and we can never predict when the storm will come.
Only when two people control the channel together can we sail towards the other side of happiness.
The third level:
A happy marriage is the soul mate of each other.
Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu have always been soul mates in the literary circle, and their love has surprised everyone.
Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu are actually not suitable in the eyes of the secular.
Yang Jiang is a big lady of a famous family. She has never suffered any hardships in life, but Qian Zhongshu’s family is very poor.
But even so, they are not limited by secular rules and regulations. They appreciate each other, affirm each other and come together step by step.
Qian Zhongshu thinks that his wife is "the most talented woman" and "the most virtuous wife", and no one can replace her;
Yang Jiang thinks, "Zhong Shu’s value is much higher than mine. I would like to learn to wash and cook for him and let him concentrate on his work."
Yang Jiang once said in an interview:
I love my husband more than myself. I understand the value of Zhong Shu, and I am willing to sacrifice myself for the success of his research and writing career.
This kind of love is not blind, but understanding. The deeper the understanding, the better the feelings.
"I didn’t think about getting married before I met you. After I met you, I didn’t think about getting married."
This sentence of Qian Zhongshu undoubtedly shows the most enviable appearance of love.
Only you can make me want to get married. I haven’t thought about getting married with anyone but you.
Although their marriage does not match in material and family circumstances, they are the best partners in the spiritual world.
A happy marriage can always respect and understand each other, and finally grow up with each other.
Material is important for marriage, but without spiritual watering, this feeling is always poor.
It is not rare to meet love and sex in marriage. What is rare is to meet and understand.
So-called soul mate, that’s all.
Even if the whole world doesn’t understand your mind, that person will always understand that this is your confidence, which is extremely rich.
(Image from the Internet, deleted)
There is a good saying: "A happy marriage needs careful management. Run-in bit by bit, two people grow together. “
A happy marriage can not only give you the courage to be a child, but also give you the happiness to be a child.
In a good marriage, husband and wife will not abandon or give up when they are in the most difficult time; It will also not erase each other’s efforts when they are successful.
Marriage needs to be cultivated. There will never be two people in perfect harmony in this world, only by constantly running in and accommodating each other.
Finally, I will give you what Qian Zhongshu said: The best living condition is that when you are alone, you are quiet and rich, and when you are alone, you are warm and practical.
Click "Watching" and cherish all the encounters. I hope everyone can manage their marriage well. Once they hold hands, it will be a lifetime.
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Original title: "A good marriage has three levels. Which level are you on? 》